Sunday, November 6, 2011
Review:Healing After Divorce
Divorce is not something most people think about when they get married, but unfortunately it happens to and in many marriages. Even the most amicable of divorces are traumatic. This very cold and sometimes hostile process causes deep wounds emotionally, spiritually and sometimes even physically and these wounds need healing in order for those going through it to begin again and carry on with a healthy and fruitful life.
When I found myself going through divorce six years ago, I felt like my life was falling apart in every way possible. As someone who had recently returned to the Catholic faith, I felt a great deal of shame and guilt. While I knew that God still loved me and had not abandoned me during this trying time, I also felt like I had disappointed and failed Him. It took many conversations with good priests, confessions, and lots of prayer to get beyond that shame and guilt.
Six years later, there are still times I find myself headed toward that quicksand of shame and guilt. So when I saw Susan K. Rowland's book Healing After Divorce: Hope for Catholics, I felt God was offering another aid to my healing. Rowland uses the experiences of her own divorce to help others who are going through or who have gone through this painful process.
The book is divided into four parts that take the reader from the time a marriage seems to be over through the grief process of mourning the loss, to beginning life over again. There is also an appendix with information on the annulment process. The book is a workbook with questions for reflection and room to record your own thoughts at the end of each chapter. I strongly recommend working through the questions and recording your thoughts. If the reader simply reads through the chapters skipping the work offered at the end of each one, I think much healing would be missed.
For the person going through a divorce as well as for the one who has already gone through the process, this book is not easy, nor is it quick. Healing takes time and is a process in and of itself, but it is always worth the work and even the pain.
If you know someone who is going through the pain of divorce or who has already gone through it, I would highly recommend Susan K. Rowland's book. Along with the emotional and spiritual components of the book, there is also practical advice for dealing with finances and day to day life in this new state of life.
*This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Healing After Divorce - Hope for Catholics . They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.
Psalm 45: Canticle of Love to the King
My heart overflows with a good theme;
I address my verses to the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
Gird Your sword on Your thigh, O Mighty One,
In Your splendor and Your majesty!
And in Your majesty ride on victoriously,
For the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness;
Let Your right hand teach You awesome things.
Your arrows are sharp;
The peoples fall under You;
Your arrows are in the heart of the King’s enemies.
Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of uprightness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of joy above Your fellows.
All Your garments are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
Out of ivory palaces stringed instruments have made You glad.
Kings’ daughters are among Your noble ladies;
At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.