Hate The Sin ~ Not The Sinner

The adage, "Hate the sin, not the sinner" came to mind today as I was checking in to see what was going on in Twitterland. I have recently acquired a follower who has posted some things of late that seem to twist this statement. His tweet today asking those who have had an abortion how old their son or daughter would be had they not killed their child has made me think about blocking this person.

Now, I understand this was probably meant as a rhetorical question on the part of the tweeter, but I chose to respond to the question along with asking the person to pray for those who have received healing and for those who are still in need of it. I also added that I would pray for him and I will.

I have prayed about whether or not I should write this post for several reasons. First, I am not in the habit of just "outing" myself just anywhere. Second, I do not want to get on a religious or political soapbox and I am not going to. Finally, I really don't want this to be just about me. Having said all that, I still believe what I am going to write needs to be said. So here is the Reader's Digest form of my story.

Twenty one years ago this past Mother's Day was the anniversary of the death of my daughter. She died a horrible death because of my fear, lack of faith, and selfishness. It would be 14 years from that day before I would seek healing and forgiveness. I found it in the last place I thought to look ~ the Catholic Church in which I was raised but left. When I made the decision to come back to my faith, I knew the abortion was a roadblock that needed to be dealt with. I found a link to Rachel's Vineyard. I read the testimonies of those who had made the retreat and how they experienced God's mercy. I knew instantly that this is where I needed to go for the healing I desperately needed. I made the retreat in November of 2002. I have gone from being very pro-choice to very pro-life. I know that God and my daughter have forgiven me and equally important, I have been able to forgive myself. What I received from the Church and those involved in this ministry was compassion; they hated the sin, not the sinner.

As someone who made this horrible choice, I ask that people try to remember that compassion not condemnation is what is needed if people are to come to healing; the healing can not begin without it. Yes, those of us who have committed this sin need to be held accountable for our actions. The healing I received is what enabled me to do that.

The tremendous shame and guilt that are associated with abortion make it extremely dificult for those who need healing to seek it. However if they are met with compassion, it at least opens the door. What I saw was Christ's hand reaching out to extend His healing touch. I heard the words He spoke to the woman caught in adultery, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."

In his encyclical, Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life), the late Pope John Paul II writes in Paragraph 99: I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

I and many like me have come to live these words. God has taken the horrible wrong and brought about tremendous good. Every time I give my witness, whether it be to a parish congregation, a group of high school students, or to a group of seminarians, it gives my daughter some of the dignity she deserves. I can't give her back her life, although her prayers have helped to give me back mine, but as her mother I can honor her memory.

Back to my Twitter friend~ I did not respond to his tweet to be cruel or even arguementative, but to ask for and offer prayer. I pray that God will soften his heart. St. Paul encourages us to correct with love. No matter what the sin, whether it be as heinous as abortion or as venial as a "white lie", compassion will always go father than condemnation and accusation in bringing the sinner to repentance.

To those of you who have taken the time to read this, I thank you for your patience and I apologize if I came off as preachy; that is not my intention. I am simply trying to live the words offered by Pope JohnPaul II ~ to be an eloquent defender of all human life.

*For more information and resources on Post Abortion Healing go to the Rachel's Vineyard website.

You may also want to read this post by Angela at Where Angels Go... This lady is an example of what is needed. Thank you, Angela

**Picture courtesy of allposters