Staying The Spiritual Course
I have been in a state of blahness spiritually. Some might call it aridity, and there is some of that going on, but is also a bit of depression. Now I am not someone who suffers from clinical depression, but on occasion, what I call situational depression seems to visit. The reasons for this are varied; many times it is centered around an unpleasant anniversary date in my life.
I am always amazed how God sends me His reassuring messages just when I need them. Reading my friend Judy's post, Fake It Til You Make It seemed to be just what I needed to hear, but it went even further when I went to the link for a reflection on aridity written by her brother. What I realized after reading this beautiful reflection was that I was not suffering purely from spiritual aridity, but this minor bout of depression may be causing the aridity.
The title of the reflection is Aridity: A True Blessing in Disguise. While it may not feel like it, when you really stop and think about it, it is a blessing. As the reflection points out, God either permits or directly wills this for the good of the soul. It reminds me of what Mother Angelica says about enjoying our faith versus exercising our faith. There are times in all our lives where God allows us to sit back and enjoy our faith~ prayer comes easily, we feel consolations, we can see and feel God's presence everywhere and in everything. Then there are the times He wants to make us and our faith stronger~ prayer is the last thing we feel like doing and when we do do it, it feels like sawdust in our mouths! God seems to have turned a deaf ear to us and we can't feel or see His presence in anything. This is the time to stay the course. It is also the time for gratitude as the above mentioned reflection speaks about. It is also about getting our heads out of our bellybuttons and thinking, doing, praying for others.
I have been in this desert place before, so it doesn't frighten me. If anything it helps me to see my total dependence on God, because I know He is the only one who can and will see me through it. In the meantime, He sends me wonderful friends and family to support me.
I have always been someone who does not particularly enjoy exercise, but I do it because I know its benefits. Spiritual exercise is no different and its benefits will last for eternity!
So I will stay the course. I will continue to stick to my formula for my spiritual life; for me that is daily Mass, morning and evening prayer, and my weekly hour (or more if I can get there) of Eucharistic Adoration. I will proceed calmly and in faith until such time as God sees fit to bring me out of this dry and dusty land. He will; He always does!
Note: If you haven't read Judy's post or her brother's reflection, please follow the respective links above. When you get to the page for the reflection, scroll down and you will find it about third from the bottom.