Monday, December 13, 2010
Companions For Another Year
I chose my saint for this year or I should say she chose me~ again. It seems St Anne wants to be my companion for another year. I was tempted to put her name back in the mix and choose again, but then thought better of it. Actually there were several reasons I did not pick again.
For one thing I was the last to choose at our monthly prayer meeting, but more importantly, I think that this saint, mother to Our Lady and grandmother to Jesus, has some more she would like to teach me about motherhood.
I think St Anne knew a thing or two about being mother to someone whose mission went far beyond the earthly realm. Our Lady was destined for a huge role in Salvation History by being chosen to be Mother to God's beloved Son.
My own role as mother is not an earthly one but a spiritual one. Those of you who have been regular readers of this blog know that I am post-abortive. My daughter is in heaven, so in some ways I am mother to a saint. The reality of the situation is that she takes better care of me than I ever did of her. There are times that this beautiful but harsh fact cuts very deep because I know that this is not how it should be, and in those times I find myself wanting to reject the role of spiritual mother because I feel that I do not deserve that title given what I have done.
However, I think God through St Anne is trying to show me otherwise. True, I may not deserve motherhood, but it has been given, and it is a gift. I am sure that St Anne and St Joachim, when praying for a child, never thought that their little girl would be chosen as the most Blessed Mother of all.
I am in no way comparing myself to this saintly woman, but I do think there is a distinct and important reason she has chosen to spend another year with me.
I still have a lot to learn about accepting~graciously and humbly~ the gift of being a mother, and who better to learn this from than St Anne. OK well maybe Our Lady herself, but I think her lessons for me are ongoing.
Psalm 45: Canticle of Love to the King
My heart overflows with a good theme;
I address my verses to the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
Gird Your sword on Your thigh, O Mighty One,
In Your splendor and Your majesty!
And in Your majesty ride on victoriously,
For the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness;
Let Your right hand teach You awesome things.
Your arrows are sharp;
The peoples fall under You;
Your arrows are in the heart of the King’s enemies.
Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of uprightness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of joy above Your fellows.
All Your garments are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
Out of ivory palaces stringed instruments have made You glad.
Kings’ daughters are among Your noble ladies;
At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.